50 Shades of Hamm
He was the most grandiose lover there ever was.
“I’ve never experienced anything like it before. We spent the entire evening in his indoor jacuzzi, discussing the pain of our past romances and love for the arts. A huge oil pastel portrait of Jon stared down on us from the wall- almost urging us to make sweet, passionate love.
After consuming an entire bottle of year 1929 French red wine, Jon looked into my eyes and I looked upon his manly man face and we could not control ourselves any longer. We climbed out of the lustfully hot jacuzzi like two lions ready to start a pride. I was the lioness and he was my lion. He dominated me and, as he “heated my hot pocket”, we stared into the deep, sea green eyes of the portrait he painted himself. Upon climax, he lunged on top of me and whispered into my ear ‘I was in Bridesmaids.’”
Anonymous Hamm Lover #32
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hahahaha yessss
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